When I was quite young, I decided I wanted to live and love outside of the box, because when I looked around me, while I saw relationships that were stable (though also plenty that weren't) I didn't see many relationships that looked very happy. I was determined to do things differently.
Today, I can say that I have the love in my life that I always wanted. It's very different from the norm - and it's amazing. My relationships are more beautiful, nourishing and wildly loving than what I ever could have imagined was possible. I feel truly grateful for my people, my chosen family, and what we've built together.
But it wasn't always that way. Many times throughout my journey, I hit bumps in the road. My relationships struggled, and we needed some help. But when I looked around, I wasn't really finding the help I was looking for. I looked to my friends and community for advice, but they were just as in the soup (or moreso) as I was. I read countless books and blog posts. I took classes and listened to podcasts. While they were valuable, I felt like they either didn't go deep enough, or they didn't fully apply to my situation. I reached out to therapists, but sessions felt like I was just spinning my wheels and venting instead of getting guidance or actionable steps on what to do when difficult situations arose.
I eventually made my way through the many challenges that came up - but it was through a lot of trial-and-error, putting a lot of pieces together for myself, doing collaborative work with my partners, synthesizing and adding to all the material I had absorbed over the years. Then, when I looked around to see if anyone else was in the same place I had landed to find some community, I instead connected with a lot of people asking me for my secrets. This ultimately led me to become a relationship coach and start a podcast. I wanted to give other people the help that I wished I'd had, so that maybe they could have a smoother ride than I did.
After several years of helping individuals, couples and more, slots in my coaching practice are now in such high demand that I regularly turn clients away. It was time to create a way to support more people in a deep and powerful way but in a more affordable and accessible format.
The Relational Nonmonogamy Circle is my signature program for everyone who wants to create better relationships. Whether you're polyamorous, kinky, a relationship anarchist, self-partnered, intentionally monogamous or just looking for something different than the status quo, or all of the above, the Relational Nonmonogamy Circle will help you:
Through my training, research and work with clients, I have identified four key pillars that I believe are necessary to support strong, functional, loving nonmonogamous relationships. All the teachings and practices in the Relational Nonmonogamy Circle are centered around one of these four pillars:
Empowerment ensures that everyone in the relationship is treated with respect and equity, individuals holding themselves and others in warm regard. In an empowered relationship, everyone has the ability to set boundaries and limits and ask for what they want. Empowerment holds that everyone is responsible for themselves, but also accountable for their impact on others. Relational empowerment means that where we can, we help each other out and meet each other where we are, rather than leaving every person to fend for themselves.
Security is about knowing where you stand with the people in your life with clarity. Clear is kind. Security is not about certainty that the relationship will always continue or creating rigid agreements. It is about a commitment to creating strong but flexible relational practices that honor all people in the relationship - talking about changes proactively together, being intentional about what the relationship is and is not, and having a system of repairing ruptures when they happen.
Pleasure is the fuel that powers relationships. If there is no pleasure, joy, play, sensuality, frivolity, or fun together, a relationship can end up feeling like a job, another task to complete instead of something that enriches our lives. Pleasure is also about embodiment and intimacy - learning to be naked together, whether physically, emotionally or spiritually, and finding new ways to express and understand ourselves through our partnership with others.
For many people, their relationships are what give life meaning. We may find that meaning through our play partners, but many of us are also looking for people to do life with. We are creating families, communities, and a legacy of love and healing. We are only on this planet for a relatively short while, and it's my belief that a life well-lived is a life well-loved.
Relational Nonmonogamy is rooted in the belief that loving relationships are not just ethical and consensual, but also empowered, secure, pleasurable, and meaningful. Relational Nonmonogamy honors that we are not just a bunch of individual actors, but that we are also the caretakers of our relational ecosystem, and thus how we move through the world and treat one another matters. Relational Nonmonogamy values power with instead of power over, meaning, nobody is more important than anyone else, no one is trying to control anyone else, and power isn't zero sum, but rather sharing power gives everyone more power. Relational Nonmonogamy embraces discomfort and vulnerability and messiness, because inside those things is intimacy and connection and deep understanding.
The program lasts 4 months, building the 4 pillars of Relational Nonmonogamy. After that there is an option to continue meeting monthly in a discussion group format around a rotating list of topics at a reduced monthly membership cost. If you join, please be ready to commit to participating for the full 4 months.
Yes! Individuals or couples (or triads or quads or more!) may participate. However, each individual must register separately. (Why? Because I don't want to privilege coupled people over individuals! Google "couple privilege" for more information about that.)
It is HIGHLY encouraged that you invite people from your relational ecosystem to join you - partners, sure but also friends, family members, queerplatonic life partners... you name it. And if you bring in someone you know, you will have the opportunity to work with Libby directly on your relationship TOGETHER during hot seat coaching.
Yes! Participants will be able to receive hot seat coaching by Libby during the group coaching calls. Not every participant will be receive coaching on every call, but everyone who wants one will get a turn. Also, you’d be surprised how often someone else is working on the same issue that you are!
Once a week. Each week, there will either be a teaching call or a coaching call. The teaching call will be on one aspect of one of the pillars, with a Q&A at the end. The coaching call will be a chance to receive individualized coaching on whatever issue is alive for you that week. Each call will be around 90 minutes though sometimes we go longer.
Live calls will begin sometime in April 2022.
If you have to miss a call, each call will be recorded and available for download - you can keep them forever. While I encourage you to join all calls live, this is not a requirement. You can still participate via the Facebook group. However, even though the calls are recorded, if you cannot make any of the calls live, I encourage you to wait and join the group at a more convenient time for you.
The calls are usually around 90 minutes, though sometimes they may go longer. In addition, be prepared to spend maybe 1-2 hours a week for practice, reflection, etc.
Once you paid for a particular month, there are no refunds. You may cancel at any time, and you will lose access to the cohort group. You will be able to download all recordings of calls and teachings for your personal use forever.
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